Status Check

It has been a while since I have posted.  Not sure why, but things are moving along.  It is June 2, and the scales showed me at 235.4 this morning.  That is up from 232.4, but I really still think it is water weight.  I am so bad at drinking enough on the weekends, I usually retain water.  That is my goal for this month, to drink more water on the weekends.

Since my last post, I have completed my first 5K, on 04/01/11 with a time of 45 minutes.  My goals were to run the whole thing and to finish, I did both.  It felt amazing.  The next day not so much, as my knee bothered me so much so that I ended up going to the doctor.  It was just a bit of inflammation, and is all better now.  I have started running again, training for a 5K on July 4th weekend, and then a 1/2 marathon (God help me) on 12/03/11.  I am still spinning and trying to incorporate more strength training into my week.

I have really struggled the last month or so, trying to balance everything.  Being a mom of 2 young boys, a wife, and working full time does not leave much room for me to do things for myself.  I have felt guilty about going to the gym when my house looks like a tornado went through it.  Another thing is my boys hate the child care at the gym, and I feel bad making them go.  It is for no other reason but they are bored as it is a small area and there are lots of kids.  Over the past week or so, I have realized that whining about it is not going to do anything to make it better.  I am learning that I can get a good workout cleaning the house, and mowing the lawn, so some days that is my exercise.  I am trying to do a little bit each night, when I get home so that the household chores are not as daunting on the weekends.  I am also asking my husband to commit to helping me with the boys more.  Usually I drop the off and pick them up every day.  He is going to start doing it 2x a week so that I can make it to spin class (which I love) and will keep me in the gym, since we are paying for it for atleast another year. 

My weight loss is slow but steady.  I had really hoped to have lost close to 50 pounds by the end of June, but that is just not going to happen.  I am resolved to the fact that for me it is just going to be slower than I had hoped, but better than not at all.  I am losing and that is all that matters.  I am trying to stay focused on the accomplishments I have made and the fact that I feel better, look better, and have way more energy.  I guess the excitement of getting started is gone, and now is when it is time to really see what I am made of.  Seeing pictures of myself from the Memorial Day weekend, are sure fire motivation for me to keep going.  I think part of my stall has been that people are starting to to notice and compliment me on my weight loss, and for whatever reason I always stall.  That is the reason I have set these running goals for myself.  I need to have something to work towards to keep me moving, on a regular basis, to get me over the humps.  I am going to get there, and I cannot wait to post that post to the blog! The one that says, "I DID IT".  I will do it!

Perspective

So I have not posted anything new, because there has not really been anything new to report.  I have really struggled the last month and the scales have been a crazy roller coaster.  I gain a couple one week, then lose those and couple more the next.  Only to gain a couple of those back and then lose them again the next.  It has been incredibly frustrating for me, and though I am not and will not give up, I have been discouraged.

Today, I was talking with my sister about my weight loss.  She asked me how much I have lost and said that she could tell the last time she saw me, that I had lost.  I was complaining to her about my plateau, but in doing so, I realized something.  I started this journey on 01/03/2011.  Today is 03/22/2011.  It has been 10 weeks and a day since I started this journey and I am 25 lbs down.  That is 1/4 of the way to my goal.  That is an average of 2.5 lbs per week.  I do not want to lose more than that a week as it is recommended to lose 1-2 pounds per week to maintain the loss. 

So, with a change in perspective, I went from feeling discouraged and frustrated, to happy and elated!!!  I am doing a fantastic job and have nothing to complain about.  When I stated this new lifestyle I told myself it was first and foremost to get healthy.  I am eating better, exercising 5 days a week, and feel so much better than I did just 10 weeks ago.  I have come such a long way in those 10 weeks. 

I can do it, I will do it, and will be so much more grateful for the journey taking it slow and doing it the right way. 

7 weeks completed

So I haven't been good at blogging in the last couple of weeks, but I have been keeping up the good fight.  This is the 8th week on my way to a new me, and although I have been staying under budget calorie wise and exercising every day of the week, my weight loss has somewhat plateaued.  In January I lost 16 pounds.  In February I only lost an additional 5.  While I am not complaining, I really want to be able to see a 2 lb per week loss, and in February I did not see that.  I am hoping that it is just my body adjusting to all the physical activity I have been doing over the past month, and I will start losing again.  Weight loss is a secondary goal, first goal is to be a healthier me, and I am doing that. I know the scales will reflect that, just have to remind myself of that from time to time.   

This is all about life-style changes and not just a diet, and after 7 weeks, I am beginning to feel like my lifestyle has changed.  Exercise is part of my schedule now.  The weekends are still really hard, come Saturday I just want to veg on the couch and be lazy, but that too is slowly changing.  I think as the weather gets warmer it will be easier to get up and get moving on the weekends.

I still have not gotten a tape measure to see how many inches I have lost, which kinda bums me out.  I know I have lost inches, because of the way my clothes fit.  Hopefully I can remember to get one this month and can start checking that as a means to see my progress as well as the number on the scale.  One thing I can say is how much better I feel!  I don't ache when I go to bed or have to slowly get out of bed in the morning.  I am sleeping so much better and I wake up and feeling refreshed and ready to begin the day.  Even more so after my shower, but I can tell a difference. 

I am excited to see the changes and it makes me feel really good that others are starting to notice.  My hubby told me last night he can really see a difference and he sees me every day!  Others have commented they can tell I am losing, and that is always a great motivator and make me feel great!!!

So, after 7 weeks, it has gotten easier and I am 22 pounds down so far.  Not to bad!!!   

5 Weeks In.....

Yesterday began my 6th week on my new lifestyle change, and I have to say it is getting easier.  Using the LostIt! app really helps.  I think about everything I am eating.  I ask myself if I am really hungry or just bored or thirsty or if I really want to "spend" 100 calories on empty calories. 
Exercise is becomming addictive too.  I am wanting to move all the time, and there are so many things I want to try.  I have started the Couch to 5K program and started attending spinning classes.  What great workouts!!! 
I need to get a tape measure so that I can take my measurements, that is my goal for this week.  I have lost 16.2 in those 5 weeks, and that includes a week where I stepped up my exercise and gained 4 pounds back. They are gone now and 2 more with it. 
I know the rate of loss will not continue, but I am happy with my results now.  I am not feeling deprived in any way, and I know that as long as I am honest with myself, and continue to do what I have been doing, I will get the results I am looking for.  This coming Christmas I will have one more reason to celebrate.  I will have met my goal and will be much healthier and thus much happier because I will finally be the Mom and wife I have always wanted to be, and the one I see in the mirror every day!!! 

A couple of weeks in

So, I started my lifestyle change on 01/03/2011 and have been logging my good days and bad days since that day.  I have had great success in that I have lost 13 pounds in 3 weeks.  That is a great start.  However, I know that rate of loss will not last and I am scared of what happens when I plateau for the first time.  I am trying to focus on each day and not look ahead.  But I cannot help thinking about the day I am finally a healthy weight.  The day I finally look like the person I see in the mirror.  When I can finally walk into any store I want and grab something off the rack and it fit.  I just hope that I stay motivated through this long journey and not let the the plateaus and bumps and set backs get me down to where I let myself fail.  I really want to succeed and I really feel like this is my year!!!  I am super excited to see the changes my body will be making.  Just hope that I keep the real reason I am doing this in the fore-front.  For myself first, then my family!!! 

Weekend Ruined

So this weekend started off ok, I had a busy day with the boys, that stated at 7am.  Breakfast on Saturday was the only healthy meal I ended up eating.  After eating relatively healthy and certainly correct portion sizes, I could not get over how icky I felt.  Now the reason for my lack of discipline was that I was not feeling good this weekend, thanks to a sinus infection.  However, I forgot that I am in control, not food!  I let the fact that I did not feel well take over and ate whatever I felt like.  The result was that the scales this morning showed me up 5 pounds from Friday.  Now I logged every ugly thing I ate, and I did not eat 5 pounds worth of food.  So I know that is water weight from the high sodium in the foods I ate.  So, I have to work harder to not let the way I feel over-power my decisions to eat healthy and responsibly.  I know this is a long journey and that I did get the weight I am overnight and I will not lose it overnight either.  What I can do is learn from every pitfall and every set back as well as the little victories.  This is a life-style change and not a "diet" and what's done is done.  Today I stated with a clean plate, and ended the day with over 350 calories remaining in my daily budget and completely satisfied.  I consider that a victory!

The beginning

I am a 36 year old mother of 2 boys, step-mother of 1 girl and wife to 1 man!  Ha!  I have battled with my weight since I was in junior high, but it really got out of control after highschool.  I have done many "diets" with some success but never for very long.  I always resorted back to eating the way I wanted and the weight came back.  When I met my husband I was at 200lbs at age 30.  When we got married, a year and a half later, I was 230.  After having our second child in as many years, I was at 240 at age 33.  I did Nutrisystem for about a year and lost about 40 lbs.  I stayed at 200 for about 6 months, trying to get that last 40 off, but one excuse after another and I gained it all back and then some.  I have maintained my heaviest weight of 265-266 for about a year now.  I have always "carried my weight well" meaning it is evenly distributed so, I am just big all over.  I have not had any problems with my health as a result of my weight, but this past year I have started "feeling" my weight.  By that I mean that my feet hurt all the time, my back hurts a lot and it seems the slighted physical exersion, and I am out of breath and sucking air big time.

In the months that I did Nutrisystem, I learned what portion control meant, how to snack between meals, to keep me feeling satisfied and my metabolism up, and that exercise was key to weight loss as well as healthy living.  For a while I was doing great.  But I am an a emotional eater and I allowed my depression and changes in my job to affect me and I stopped going to the gym, stopped caring about what I was eating and stopped caring period.  Not to the point of suicide or anything like that, just about my weight or health.  At least I did not care enough to get back on track and stay there. 

So New Year's rolled around and I really thought about what I wanted to change in 2011.  My lifestyle, in several aspects, not just weight loss.  I have had an app on my phone for over a year now that I decided to start using this year.  I have taken the simplest approach to this, calories in and calories out.  I am focusing only on today and making sure that my choices today are more healthy than not and tomorrow I will worry about tomorrow.  What I really want for myself is to be here for my kids.  To be the mom that plays with them not watches from the sidelines or couch all the time.  I want to go camping and hiking and running and biking and whatever else it is they want to do.  I want to set a good example for them.  I do not want them to struggle like I have and be limited on what they can do because of their weight.  I want to be a fun energetic active wife and lover to my husband.  Can't do that when I am carrying around an extra 100 pounds.

In an attempt to this lifestyle alteration, I wanted a place to write down what I am feeling, experiencing, and learning as I go.  I have heard about and read about bloggers, and decided this might be what I need.  So this is the beginning.  The beginning of the new me.  It is 01/19/2011 and my current weight is 257lbs.